I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
The power of my boobs compel you
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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