Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Barsexuality is the new black.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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