The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
