you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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