The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
