tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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