I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
