Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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