Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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