4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
