when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
