I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
