I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
