What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
