Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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