I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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