Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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