I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
