Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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