he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
