I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
