Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
