We're like a lot better than the average bears
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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