Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
