the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
