just tell him i said nine months
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
