so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
