I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
