those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
