just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize