stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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