I seem to have left my pride at pride
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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