Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
