they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
