She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
is it fun? or sober?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize