I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
