Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
