used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
should my penis look like a turkey
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
