i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
