Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
