i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
