Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
