I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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