Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
