i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you didnt know i had herpes?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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