i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she pinky promised me she was 18
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize