Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
