Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
