I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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