I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
