He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
and you fell through a lawn chair
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
