I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
