This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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