just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
