Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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