I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
