I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize