Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
