hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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