i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Found your dick twin last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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